It can be challenging to watch a family member struggle with addiction. And knowing what to do and say throughout their addiction journey can perplex even the best of us. The end goal may be to encourage your loved one to pray, to start a 12-step program, or even to check into a rehab. There are rehabs all over the country; your loved one could spend time at an outpatient center in Malibu, a luxury rehab in Hawaii, or a detox in Houston. But the truth is, using words of love and affirmation and addressing the situation head-on can make the most significant difference. Here’s what you need to know about what to say to a loved one battling addiction.
You’ve Noticed a Change
Many parents and friends of someone addicted wonder how to start the conversation about the addiction, especially if they are considering an intervention. It’s okay to start the conversation by saying you have noticed changes in their behavior, whether those changes are in-your-face, such as increasingly being under the influence, or more subtle, such as increased depression. However, the key is ensuring that the language remains upbeat yet firm. Language that can make them feel attacked can cause the conversation to go downhill fast, often not generating the outcome you desire.
Remind Them That You Love Them
The most important thing you can do and say to someone battling addiction are those three words; I love you. Putting those words out there, especially when laced with deep feelings, can help set the stage for any discussion you want to have about assisting them in seeking treatment. Reinforce that you will always be there and not give up on them. Hearing an affirmation of love might help your addicted loved one break down, opening them up to anything else you might have to say.
Let Them Know That Everyone Needs Help from Time to Time
The statistics on addiction can be rather alarming. 85.6% of adults have reported drinking alcohol at some point in their lifetime. And 7.3% of adults ages 18 and older who have indicated they have alcohol use disorder (AUD) have sought treatment. Add drug abuse to the mix, and those numbers increase. So whether you are encouraging them to seek inpatient rehab or outpatient treatment, remind your loved one that they are not alone.
Reiterate That Their Addiction is Not Their Fault
Alcoholism and drug abuse are a disease often encouraged by the use of chemicals in the media that we consume. No one sets out to become an addict. Unfortunately, with many drugs readily available and their compositions creating addiction, seemingly innocent experimentation can easily take someone down a path they never planned.
It Is Possible to Get Better
If your loved one is considering treatment, ensure they know that it is possible to get better. With the proper dedication to a program, many inpatients come out stronger on the other side. When family members and friends offer support, the chances of success are much more significant.
You Will Remain by Their Side
Losing a child to drug use is the last thing anybody wants. As challenging as it can be to watch someone you love make poor decisions if they want to get better, they need to know that you will be by their side literally and figuratively throughout the process. The more you can be present and in their space, the more that your addicted loved one will know that they are not alone and that people are waiting in the wings for them to get better.
Offer Help in Whatever Way They Need
We all likely have visions of best-supporting someone suffering from addiction. And the natural course of action is for them to seek treatment from a reputable detox & rehab center. But the goal is for your loved one to figure this out for themselves, perhaps with your gentle encouragement.
Remember that they might need more time to be ready to admit they have a problem, and they might stave off any offers of your help. If this happens, indicate that you can make it easier for them to focus on their treatment. Offer assistance in finding a treatment center, and do what you can to help them while they are away – care for a pet, help ensure their bills are paid (don’t give them money), check in on their house or apartment, etc.