Being in a relationship takes work. And, as you and your significant other work on ways you can make your relationship more successful, it’s important to sit down and discuss long-term relationship goals. These long-term goals can be easier to discuss when you’re in a healthy relationship — so before you sit down to talk with your partner, make sure you feel like your relationship is in a good place. Here’s some more information on ways you can talk about long-term relationships goals with your partner.
Think About What You Want
Before you discuss goals with your partner, think about what you want first. This way, you’ll be clear in what it is that you’re looking for well before talking about your relationship goals together. Want to get married? Think about what type of men’s wedding ring you want. Knowing these things beforehand will go a long way in ensuring that you’ll have the right frame of mind. Thinking about what you want long-term in your relationship is helpful for the conversation with your partner because you can use it to help guide each other. When you’ve reached an area where you don’t see similarly, then you can easily steer the conversation somewhere else.
Be Clear and Concise
It’s easy to get into a habit of talking in circles or saying what you think your partner wants to hear. However, when you’re discussing long-term goals for your relationship, it’s important that you clearly and concisely line out your own wants and how you can see each other meeting those goals together as a couple. Otherwise, the conversation can easily get side tracked. Without clear and concise conversation, your chat will get off the rails and you’ll end up in a chat that keeps going around and around the same things.
Give Them the Chance to Speak
When you talk with your significant other, it’s important that you give them the chance to speak. Think about it from a sales perspective for a second. In sales and many other communication-based fields, the 70/30 conversation rule takes precedent. The goal is for the other person to talk more than you.
The same concept applies for your conversation with your significant other about your long-term goals. While you don’t have to approach your conversation like a business deal or a sales pitch, letting them speak longer than you speak will allow them to feel present and heard. This will make them more open to compromising with you about things they might not previously have wanted to compromise on. Giving them the chance to speak their mind will go a long way in your conversations about how you can reach goals together.
Avoid Talking About It All at Once
One of the things people do that can derail a conversation is throwing a bunch of things out at once. Instead of word-vomiting all your terms and expectations and goals in one swoop, take the time to talk through them. This way, you’ll get to dedicate the time that each goal deserves. Putting these goals into practice will feel much better when you know that you’ve taken the necessary time to talk and think through them with your significant other. If you don’t, then you run the risk of missing something important. Together, you and your partner can work through potential hurdles, which may solve problems for later goals.
Leave Room for Discussion
One of the worst things you could do is give them the list of your goals and not expect a conversation. The goals aren’t expectations — and they also shouldn’t be non-negotiables. While some things might be a priority, it still doesn’t mean you’re in a dictatorship. If you feel strongly about something, chances are you have already talked about that together early on. Otherwise, it might be best to evaluate your relationship to determine if it’s worth enough of your energies. Discussion is imperative to establishing long-term relationship goals.
It Doesn’t Need to Seem Clinical
Sometimes people think that long-term relationship goal conversations need to happen formally. There’s no need for a boardroom, a Google Doc or even putting on your best deal-making suit. Instead, approach it from a positive, exciting perspective. This is your chance to talk about the future of your relationship! For some couples, this is the time to discuss marriage, home ownership, children and even longer-term financial goals or wants. You can achieve greatness together if you take the time to have the conversation. Whether you talk while cooking together, after you decompress from the workday or even while out getting groceries, you can talk about your relationship goals together in a variety of different ways.
Make Actionable Plans
Some goals seem broad and not actionable. Making actionable plans is a way you and your partner can come up with goals that are achievable. Actually list out the steps, no matter how informal, you’ll need to take together or individually in order to reach your relationship goals. For couples looking to get married, talking about things like diamond shape preferences or confirming your size with a helpful ring size chart are two examples of actional plans and steps you can discuss while talking about your overall goal of getting married.
Know When to Fold
You don’t always get what you want. And, if you find that more and more your conversation leads to discussions that don’t meet eye-to-eye and you don’t feel like you’re making any headway, know when to have a serious conversation about your relationship in the first place. There’s dignity in being honest with your partner — and yourself — about what it is that you really want and don’t want to see in your relationship. Discussing your relationship with your significant other can seem like a difficult subject to broach. However, there are some ways you can make the conversation easier for both of you. Following some of these tips will help guide you in having an effective chat about your relationship goals.